I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize