Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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