dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
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I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
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She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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