My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
