Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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