oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize