Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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