i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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