its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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