at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
