based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
