my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
