I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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