Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
