i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
