I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
