i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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