when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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