no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
