Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
