I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
