We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
