Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
