The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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