I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize