A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
