Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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