i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
