How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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