I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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