i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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