Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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