if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
