So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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