I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
