i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize