Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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