Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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