And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
