my soul wont recognize me after tonight
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
