Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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