billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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