he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
