Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
