Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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