CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
