I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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