Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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