Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
