It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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