Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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