you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize