even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
