I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
