omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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