I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
we should paint friendship bongs
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
