grandma shit on top of the toilet
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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