Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
