My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
