Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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